Juliet

[Fel]

Juliet|| River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

The Dog Days (Are Gone?)
--------------------------------------------------------

June 5, 2011

The last few days have been funny. I guess. If you have some kind of perverted sense of humor. I woke up two days ago under the ruins. But when I woke up I hadn't known that I was under a ruin, I just knew that I was being crushed by 500 pounds of concrete wood and metal. For a little while I just lay there. That was solely because of my gift, I knew that. I'm pretty sure that that's how I survived whatever happened. A few hours passed while I tried to remember what happened. I still know who I am, where I was born, that I have this crazy super power. I don't know why I'm here, where I am, or how come someone tried to kill me. There are so many possible explanations.

Two hours and nothing came. All I've got is that waking up in vegas song stuck in my head. Some vegas this is, I don't even have a class ring. I guess I've never been the kind of person to give up, I mean, dying hasn't stopped me so how could I be beaten down by a pile of building? I found myself in a ruin, a ruin in the truest sense of the world. Whatever had been there was huge... and long gone. Something told me that I should go look for clues. Like those boxcar children when they were in the dump. I found no food or clothes or money. Nope. It was bodies. I didn't recognize a single one of them, but I wonder if I used to. I would walk up to one of them and think 'did I talk to her?' or 'was this a person that I hated or loved?' or 'what if this was my best friend? it would suck if I just forgot her.' I don't know how I could just forget.

The ruins yielded nothing so I headed towards town. I used my power to turn into a bird and then I used it again to steal some clothes from Ross because mine barely covered anything and I couldn't keep them when I shifted. I wish that I had some money so I could have paid os something but I don't. While I walked out of that store I couldn't stop wondering if this is something I do often. What exactly have I been doing for the last two years?

After spending one night asleep in a tree I realized that I needed to find a job that would get me at least a little bit of food. I tried about ten places. Before today I always (I guess) thought that the way to get a job was to walk into a place with a 'help wanted' sign and demand a job. Not so. Maybe for Hooters, if you're really hot... but I didn't try there so I'm not to sure. Part of my power seems to be that I can read minds. Heh. Around six I was at my last hope for this stupid town, a really small book store that smelled like dust and old books. The old man who worked there was dead set against hiring a girl who has no records to speak of or an ID so I ended up nudging his mind in the right direction. Now I'm starting to think that I should have just gone to a hospital and asked them to take me somewhere with food because I can't sleep from the guilt. I don't know if what I did was really 'mind control' but what I did was still bad... I wish I could stop feeling guilty, it's not letting me sleep. But I'm employed. I still sleep in a tree but that's comfortable if I use my power to turn into a bird because they like trees. It's just to dang cold. I'm actually looking forward to working tomorrow because at least I'll be inside.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet ||River||Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

And I used to stand for something
--------------------------------------------------------

June 6, 2011

Today is my third day as a working person. I have made a grand total of around 300 dollars from the job, which ended up being 200 because I bought food and more clothes. My new favorite hobbies include people-watching and reading books in book stores (Without buying them). I also get to enjoy doing my hair and brushing my teeth in the bathrooms of random gas stations. I don't know how to use my gift to make myself look cleaner so I need to do that the hard way. Yesterday I went swimming in a lake and the day before I hid in an empty lot and dumped a few buckets of stolen gas station tap water over my head. I've always liked my hair longer but I've been keeping it so short lately that it looks like a buzz cut. A lot of customers thought that I was a boy.

I found the limit to my gift today. I'd been to stressed to notice before but I can't read minds as well as I could before. Once I noticed that it seems like it got worse a lot faster. I'm down to sensing emotions and I think I'd have a hard time doing mind control if I were to try. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. What's worrying me is that there are now limits on my shape-shifting ability. Maybe there always were... I don't know.

Last night I decided to just turn into a huge bird and fly straight to my aunt's house. I would have called her earlier but I don't know her number and I'm afraid that if I go to the police it'll turn out that I'm a criminal or something. Then they'll find out that I have a super power and I guess they'd send me to some kind of holding place. After two hours of flying I started hearing something like a voice in my head. It sounded like me...I guess... but it wasn't me thinking. It just said things like "20% energy remaining" and then "10% energy remaining". I thought that I'm already crazy enough without hearing voices too and I thought that it would go away if I just ignored it. When the voice said "0% energy remaining" I changed back. Almost a few hundred feet above ground. It took me until three in the afternoon to trek back and then my boss yelled at me for being late and dirty. But he was nice enough to give me a little bag that has shampoo and soap in it, though that might have been an insult.

I think my memories are coming back. Just a little.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet || River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

Keep your eyes set on the horizon on the line where blue meets blue
--------------------------------------------------------

June 8, 2011

I've l lost my job and my mind reading abilities. Mr. Harrow, the man who runs the book store, came to his senses and realized that there were some problems with hiring me. My mind reading is so far gone now that I couldn't do anything to dissuade him. I left with 300 dollars after working for about a week. It's no longer possible to buy any kind of car that will get me to my uncle. I will have to steal one or walk. The only good this is that my shape shifting abilities seem to be stable so that I don't have any trouble changing shapes. However, I still cannot go past the restrictions set for my shape shifting which seem to vary depending on how much energy I have.

After lunch I went car shopping to see if it would be possible to steal one. I have no idea how to hot wire a car, so I would have to steal the keys. Without mind reading I could not even find the keys. It was a wasted afternoon.

I think I'm starting to remember things. Whenever I close my eyes I see faces but I can't put names or emotions to them. There is a girl with pale skin and black hair, a guy of basically the same description, a child... a lot more.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet ||River ||Violetto

I am a man man man man up up in the air
--------------------------------------------------------

June 11, 2011

I apologize for not writing for a few days. I've been much to tired to write... so I didn't. The false stability my remaining power had a few days ago was exactly that, false. I don't know how to describe it, but I'm loosing my grip on how to use it. That's not surprising because I only know the basics about what it is. 1) I used to be able to read/control mind. 2) I can no longer even sense emotions. 3) I can change into any animal, but only for a limited amount of time. 4) I believe that the reason I'm loosing my powers is because I can't remember the last two years. It's possible that there is some catch or trick that I need and cannot remember. That or dying and coming back to life has inflicted serious damage on my mind so that I cannot function properly.

Two days ago I left washington and now I'm in Idaho. My trip-journey-thing has turned out to be completely without the aid of cars. However, I managed to get a ride on a train (on top of it, really) and that took me pretty far until it started to go south to california. (I want to go to Virginia) Whenever I can I use my power and turn into some kind of wolf or bear. After falling almost a mile from the sky I'm not ready to turn into a bird again. It makes for slow going.

Oddly enough, this is giving me some sense of purpose. For once I feel like I'm actually doing something and it's nice to know that I'm not a person who has never endured any hardship. On the flip side, I'm looking at the last two sentences and wondering if I'm a masochist now. It can't possibly be something as serious-sounding as that. Maybe... a mini-masochist? As you can see, the loss of sleep is getting to me.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet || River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

Gravity don't mean to much to me
--------------------------------------------------------

June 12, 2011

I've been adopted by a fourteen year old boy who lives in the ghettos of southern Idaho. What a weird but completely true thing to say. Last night I made the mistake of falling asleep in a tree without tying myself to it with a rope. Understandably, I feel out and this kid saw me fall out and dragged me to his house (about five feet away) while I was still groggy. His name is Trip (my new favorite name ever) and his mom is gone all day and most of the night so he doesn't have to worry about her barging in on us and getting the wrong idea. Oddly enough, he has a power just like me. For whatever reason I had been under the illusion that I was the only super powered freak in the world. Apparently not.

Even though he's really too poor to have a bunch of technology, his power (according to his jumbled explanation) is to see everything like technology and then see how to fix/break/improve it. It makes me glad I have a straight forward gift like shape shifting. Human to animal. Nice and simple. The really great thing is that he said he could figure out what's wrong with my ever-decreasing power. 'Unfortunately' it's going to take him a few days but I'm more than willing to stay here in this house which has heating and a roof.

Trip is a lot of fun to talk to. His mom reminds me of mine, not so much of a good thing, but he has all of these stories about the stuff he's done with his friends. You could make a movie out of what they've done in a week. He's a decent cook and while he talks he makes me food, which makes me pretty happy. It's almost enough to make me want to forget living with my aunt and just stay here. But I won't.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet || River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world.
--------------------------------------------------------

June 14, 2011

Trip figured out my gift in a relatively short time. It makes sense but I'm the kind of person, I think, who has to write everything down to keep it straight. Trip says that my power goes beyond shapeshifting, and that my body will become anything I imagine. Apparently my power has been responding to my subconscious wishes and rejected my mind reading power because I felt guilty about having it. I thought that he'd be able to restore that part of my power, but he said it wouldn't work because mind reading wasn't a base part of my power and that I can't get it back without absorbing it from someone else. For some reason that part made me shiver. Taking other powers creeps me out.

About the limits, Trip said that that was subconscious too. My power really has no limits besides what I can imagine before I die but at some point I must have wanted limits and imposed them on myself. Considering how potentially dangerous my power could be, Trip recommended that I keep the limits and say allowed what I want my power to do. If I need more power he said that I can always break the limits temporarily. I feel relieved to know that I have a failsafe.
Trip decided that I need to buy a new pair of clothes because mine were smelling bad. There's a really useful Ross near his house and I found a pair of black skinny jeans and a green cami. I can't buy much because eventually I'll have to carry it all around but Trip can wash clothes so they should last a while. I'm finding him to be a good friend.

On the subject of my memory, Trip is working to unlock it. He says that it's still there but stress caused me to try and forget it. It seems like my subconscious is my enemy now. At the moment I can remember people and connect names to faces, but I can't make myself feel anything about them.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet || River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
--------------------------------------------------------

June 15, 2011

Today was a bit scary, a lot happened. This morning Trip convinced me to come with him to school. His mom comes home sometimes while he's there and he didn't want me to be there all alone. Which was nice of him. I'm not good enough to dupe a school into thinking I'm an 11 year old student who just moved here so I hung out on the playground while he sat in a room. It was actually kind of nice because I bought some chalk and drew on the sidewalks. A teacher only caught me once, but I just sprinted around a corner and turned into a bird so the teacher had no chance.

Around eleven in the morning I fell asleep. It was a mistake on my part, a stupid thing to do, but I've been spending so much time masquerading as an alley cat Trip adopted that I'm always tired. I wouldn't have put so much effort into the disguise but Trip's mom has been obsessively checking on him each night. I don't want to slip up so I need to sleep in intervals because I'm afraid that if I sleep to deeply I'll accidentally shift back. When I woke up it had only been about 15 minutes but someone had already found me. That was a... shock. He's around my age, a tall guy with long-ish brown hair and the beginnings of a beard. My newly-recovered partial memories tell me that his name is Cody. He... died about a year ago, or so I'd thought. Even though I saw him in real life I still didn't feel any particular emotions towards him. But I'm pretty sure that I dated him.

He asked me if I remembered him and I told him yes. Then he asked me why I wasn't at Havens and I told him that I didn't know what Havens was. After that he started yelling about a dance and a lion and a guy named Samuels. He looked so angry that I thought he might actually attack me. I ran all the way back to Trips house and hid under his bed in my cat shape until Trip came back home. I'd never thought that I was a coward. It's hard to believe that I could be that afraid and still have a super power. I still ran.

Trip was upset that I hadn't met him at recess and that I'd made him worry, but that wasn't it. He was crying and he said that his mom had died because she had owed some people money. He said that those people would come here to take him so I helped him pack his stuff and we drove his mom's car down the first road we got to. I've never seen that kid so scared and upset. I didn't know what else to do so I told him that he could live with me and my aunt in Virginia. That made him kind of happy, but I wish I could at least remember my Aunt's telephone number. For all I know she could have moved.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet|| River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

I've Got a Bulletproof Heart
--------------------------------------------------------

June 16, 2011

I can't remember exactly how to drive so I'm relying on muscle memory and Trip, who's constantly telling me to do weird things to the car (like 'put it in fifth.' What the heck is the fifth?). We drove until really early in the morning yesterday because Trip was scared that those guys were following us. I told him that if they did, and they weren't, that I'd just turn into a grizzly bear and scare the heck out of them but he didn't listen to me. After that we parked in a random lot and tried our best to sleep in the cat. It wasn't bad but the seats didn't recline... it was bad.

After a breakfast of Snicker bars I asked Trip to keep helping me remember things. He didn't really want to because he thinks that if he keeps forcing my memories he might damage them, but when I told him about Cody yelling at me he agreed quickly enough. We didn't get very far, it's easy to forget, but Trip's only a kid. He doesn't have that much control over his gift and even the little bit he can manage is amazing.

The unfortunate thing is that he was right about the damage inflicted on my memories. I can remember lots of big events, dances, battles. There was a lot of fighting. Regaining memories is weird, unlike normal memories, they're put together and I can remember them perfectly. It's like watching a movie, if I close my eyes I can relieve random hours from two years I only half remember. Trip says it's because people with powers like me have a much larger brain capacity because of their gift. The problem is that I can't remember how I felt during anything, not even when I was in those battles, I didn't remember pain or anything. There's a memory of me talking with a girl named Raven, but I don't remember if I liked her or not, I remember yelling at a girl named Holly, but I don't know if what she said hurt me or if we hated each other. It's like I was a zombie. That or a computer....

The good thing is that I know what happened, kind of. I know that my mom found out about my 'gift' and sent me to a school called Havens. I know that there were several evil teachers and evil students and some people went into comas. Twins, a girl with a guitar, a vampire boy, a boy with a greek girl name, a wolf girl, a girl with wings, a few children. All I know is that they're people I talked to. I wonder if I'll ever see them again, but they're probably all dead.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet|| River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

I fell in love with the girl at the rock show
--------------------------------------------------------

June 18, 2011

The car ran out of gas, officially, around Iowa. I spent all my money buying gas for the stupid thing and now I've got about three dollars left, which I'm planning to save for food. I had thought that Trip could use his gift to make the car gas-independent but apparently that's impossible. I can't fly or move to fast because Trip needs to be able to keep up with me too.

I ran into Cody again. Seeing his face triggered some memories so now I remember everything. I'd thought he was dead, I'd been upset. I can't make myself feel upset now, not at all. I wonder if that makes me less human. He asked me if I got my memory back and I told him yes and asked him what he wanted. He told me he'd come to get revenge by making my life hell and then just walked away. I think the previous me would have been really upset, but I don't care. I asked Trip about it and he said that that was his fault for forcing my memories back. He said that if I talk to him more I might develop new feelings about him, so my emotions aren't permanently damaged. I'm relieved.

I should reach my aunt in about a week. I hope she's still there.


Note: yeah, the title has nothing to do with what happened during the day. I was just listening to the song.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.

[Fel]

Juliet|| River || Violetto

img here

[/img]
[/center]

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N
--------------------------------------------------------

June 26, 2011

We made it to my Aunt's place today. It's a huge beach house, and she still lives there. Before I got there I had told Trip to wait in the driveway while I talked to her because my Aunt, even though she's cool, would freak out if I just showed up with a little kid. Earlier I had put on mostly clean clothes and brushed my hair. Lately I had been leaving it in a short black pixie cut because it made it easier to take care of but I figured that it would be nice if my Aunt recognized me. So now it's back to being it's original brown curly mess.

When I rang her doorbell I was so nervous. I though that maybe her newest weird boyfriend would answer or she wouldn't be there or she wouldn't even remember me and then kick me out. She did answer, looking surprisingly awake for 11 oclock. She hugged me and basically told me that she'd thought that I was dead. I thought that everything was going to be alright, and that I could just stay here with Trip and my Aunt, until she asked me why I wasn't at Castle. Apparently when Havens burned down people surprised, which is supposed to make me happy. Then they were all sent to Castle, and of course they didn't know if I was alive or not so I wasn't included in any plans.

I asked her if Trip and I could just stay but she refused. My own aunt wouldn't even let me stay more than one night. Both of us were ushered into the house and instructed to clean out while she made frantic calls to some important people. Apparently people are coming tomorrow to take the two of us to Castle. I'd run away... but where would I go?

Note : again, the title is just the name of a song I've been listening to.

Jues

JACK from caution 2.0 made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, b#$%.