Jues Is Back (open)

[Fel]

Juliet's teeth slice through the skin of her lip and she winces slightly. The stress must be getting to her, turning her into some kind of self-cannible. Her gift starts to repair the broken tissue on its own and eventually the taste of blood fades away. There is an awkward moment, Juliet picks at her nails and drops her gaze. What is he thinking? She wishes that she could know so she could have some clue as to how to act.

His next words distract her. What is he talking about when he says that he missed her? It's unfair that he missed her when she barely thought about him. That's not how life is supposed to work, some small voice says, everything is give and pull, equal forces and reactions, if Alucard says he misses her then it's wrong for her not to care. The voice that says that dwindles away to nothing and Juliet pushes it out of her mind She lets her eyes travel over him. This person in front of her, he is very real. There are hundreds of memories to match him to, but none of her memories have the curious depth that real life has. And... he really is reading her mind, answering the thoughts that were running through it a few moments ago. In a way, it was exactly what she had imagined someone saying to her.

"That is wrong." She says. Her blue eyes darken when she looks at him, full in the face. "It is part of human nature to judge everything. It would be impossible for you to think completely independently of your opinions." Juliet considers the rest of what he's said. Not her fault, huh... If it wasn't her fault then who on earth was there to blame it on?

She goes back to staring at him. If would be more real if something from a dream of hers were to appear in the middle of the room, singing Bright Eyes songs and wearing a toga. Without thinking of consequences, Juliet reaches across the table to pick up his hand so she can see it better. "I don't think I expected you to be real." She mumbles to herself, sounding so dazed that she might look half-asleep if the observer doesn't know better.

Words: 394

(It's okay, mine's short too.)

[Shin-sama]

Wrong. The magic word. When Juliet said, "This is wrong," Alucard suddenly grew unsettled. His expression changed completely; from concerned to totally expressionless, his mouth a grim slash. Both his and Juliet's thoughts fluttered about in his mind like bats in a cave.

If it wasn't my fault then who on earth is there to blame it on?
It was the organization; it was me.
All this lying is wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Caught in the grips of these disturbing thoughts, Alucard was just barely conscious of Juliet talking to him. Thankfully, someone came to his rescue. Rosalie, child-like necromancer he'd murdered in bloodlust, had become his familiar when he took all of her into himself that tragic evening. Her spirit resided within him, and therefore shared his thoughts and memories, ending up knowing him better than any of his friends. She also knew of the disorder he'd developed.

Alucard, calm down, Rosalie thought to him. You are overreacting. Juliet is not herself. Your logic apparently doesn't make sense to her. Just bear through this for her sake.

You're right. I will not be beaten by this, Alucard conceded. Feeling slightly more confident after that mini pep-talk, he was brought back out of the fog of his mind and into the real world. Juliet had grabbed his hand and was studying it intently. Considering whether his silence had offended her or not, Alucard glumly agreed with what she said earlier about judging and what-not.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he sighed, scratching his neck and looking a tad uncertain. Part of him had wanted to mutter, it doesn't matter about opinions or what is right or wrong to do in human nature. I'm not even human. Is it wrong that I'm just a friend of your's who happened to miss you very much while you were gone?

Then Juliet continued on to say, "I don't think I expected you to be real." Um, ouch? Gently, Alucard withdrew his hand away from her. He tried and failed to conceal the hurt in his eyes. "How can you say that?" Alucard whispered, his sorrowful facial features seemingly set in stone.

---

//word count: 492
//muse: One by Metallica
//notes: Alucard has a disorder I called the Fathom Complex. He got it when he was killed by Fathom. Generally, its progression is slow, but the stuff Flock gave him speeded up the process. There are two stages. In Stage 1, the person becomes paranoid and slightly OCD, and in Stage 2, develops multiple personality disorder. At this point in time, Alucard is steadily transitioning into Stage 2.

[Fel]

Juliet continues looking at his hand, ignoring what Alucard's saying for the most part. It's very interesting to look at for some reason, maybe it's because it's every bit as solid as her own hand. The Modifier blinks rapidly, and a small part of the emotion on his face registers with her. She drops his hand and her indigo eyes focus on the wood of the table instead. She had hurt him by speaking so honestly, he hadn't liked something that she had said. Juliet replays her words in her mind, she hadn't meant to make him feel badly. That hadn't been her intention at all.

"Alucard..." He'd asked her a question that she doesn't know the answer to. How could she say that? Easily, apparently, her tongue and teeth and lips move and she makes a sound in her throat that comes from vibrations. Together, those actions make words when the mind sends electrical signals to the cells to tell them to move to make words... that's not what he's asking. Juliet assumes that he's asking how her morals and feelings can allow her to be so blunt. Her face darkens and she grinds her teeth together. Of course he misunderstands. "I don't have any qualms about speaking the words as I think them, mind reader, because you will hear them no matter what." She allows the tip of her mouth to turn upwards because it seems like the right thing to do when saying words like that.

She looks upward at his face for a second, then wraps her arms around herself and stares at her lap. Her face is hardly visible through her gold hair, which is coming loose from the braid. "I mean this; I lived for a month with memories of people I don't know. I remember dancing with a boy with black hair, killing a boy that can turn into animals, and all the rest. However, I don't remember what it felt like and I don't remember my reasons. So excuse me for being amazed to see you in person and to touch your hand and hear your voice and know it's not just a memory." Juliet squeezes her eyes shut, knowing that she had said to much. He's just another person that she doesn't really know, so there's no reason to tell him anything. You doesn't have any right to know anything about me! She thinks. It's unfair, grossly unfair of him to put her in this situation. He's terrible for showing that emotion to force her to explain and tell him her thoughts. What's worse is that he knows everything, every thought in her mind. No one should have the ability to do that. Monster, freak, I hate you! She yells in her mind, still with her eyes closed and her teeth locked together.

Juliet leans forward and starts hyperventilating. "Control system initiate, lock gift." She gasps, opening her eyes. All at once that crazy feeling of anger fades to the back of her mind and she can force herself to think rationally again. It's not his fault, really. She rubs a bit of dirt out of one of her eyes. It's just these people, she'd forgotten that some of them were easily upset or angered, that they probably care about her or something. "I spoke wrongly." She says after a few minutes. "Disregard that, forget about it all. Don't care about what I say."

Words: 601

Note: the previous Jues would probably be hugging Alucard and crying right now... I'm sorry for any damage that this Juliet might unwittingly inflict on Alucard. She doesn't mean it.

[Shin-sama]

Monster, freak, I hate you! The thought cuts Alucard like a sharp silver blade through his undead heart. Coming from Juliet herself, all these angry thoughts and words serve as the building blocks gradually falling from the bridge that had connected them as friends, creating a gap of indifferenece. Alucard had, up to this point, been struggling with the fact that this wasn't the real Juliet, and that, despite everything she has said and thought thus far, he knows deep down inside she doesn't mean it.

But it still hurts. It shows more clearly on his face as he winces as though struck by a physical blow he can't quite regenerate from. In the end, Juliet did in fact attempt to make amends, and all Alucard could do was nod very slowly as his orange eyes stared downward at his feet, at the floor. "..Don't worry about it. I get that a lot," he says in a monotone, his face completely devoid of all emotion as he referred to Juliet's latest thought.

Unable to be in her presence any further, Alucard takes a step back to turn around and walk away, legs moving mechanically, limbs swinging nimbly. "Good-bye, Juliet," he says softly as his feet take him away from the shell of a person he used to know.

---

//word count: 266
//muse: Vater Unser by E Nomine
//notes: Its ok. Neither of them fully understand each other's conditions. Also, ignore the shortness of this post. I'm not having a good day :/

[Fel]

Juliet's eyes widen, she hadn't meant to do that. "No, Alucard." She mumbles. For some reason that she doesn't understand this is distressing, it bothers her to see him so hurt and sad. At the same time, his behavior is confusing. Even her memories cannot explain why he reacted so strongly.

At the thought of having to dissect his emotions, having to understand them and act on that knowledge, she feels tired and completely inept. She wants to just melt into the floor and disappear. Alarm bells go off in her head and Juliet realizes that this is something that she cannot let go. If she lets him walk away then she will have to admit to herself that she is the worst kind of person.

She sighs, and then yells; "HEY, ALUCARD, YOU DONT GET TO LEAVE LIKE THAT! GET YOUR -SS BACK HERE!" She gets up, walking over the table as easily as if it wasn't there, and march-runns until the catches up with him. Before he can do anything tries to grab his wrist. "Listen to me, um... yeah, listen because I can't explain, well... I can, but it doesn't sound right, and I mess up everything. What I mean to say, is that some part of me really missed you, and I think she would kill everyone in the world if it made you feel better, only, I'm not so good at being that person. I'm terrified of all you people. You're scary as hell, because you all will probably catch every screwup I make, and I don't want to disappoint you all. Like I said... uh, I said that the part of me that's.... you're friend, she really likes all of you people. And... I don't want to feel guilty..." Juliet frowns at the floor, feeling so lost and confused. Her explanation is so terrible that she's confused herself... poor Alucard, to loose his friend and to be stuck with her.

(sorry I took so long to post)

[Shin-sama]

Three things happened at once. One, Juliet yelled something that sounded like something the Juliet of old would have said. Second, she had quickly caught up to Alucard, catching his wrist and holding it with considerable force; enough to make him stop and listen. And third, people around began to stare in their direction, probably wondering, What the hell is their problem? Now that Juliet had his undivided attention, he listened closely as she gave him a loose explanation.

When she finished, Alucard truly felt sorry for her. It was obvious that Juliet was struggling to retain her sense of self. Either that, or something must have happened to her memory. Kind of like me, Alucard thought to himself. She looked so lost and confused, that he felt moved enough to want to reach out and hug his troubled friend. However, he had no idea how this new Juliet would react, as he had shut out her thoughts only minutes before.

Alucard decided to wait that out. At least now he had some valuable insight about Juliet's condition. Now it was his turn. Softly, he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Juliet. You can't live your life just to please others, even me. No one is completely perfect. As it so happenes, I have an explanation, too. But first, we should probably sit down. Its a long story.."

Graciously, Alucard lead Juliet back to the table, and gestured for her to sit down. He sat down in a vacant chair to the left, anxiety fluttering in his chest like a caged bird. Briefly, he wondered if he could trust Juliet with the information she was about to hear. But one look at his friend, and he decided that he couldn't have told anyone else. The veil of secrecy surrounding Alucard was a delicate and complex fabrication of lies, deceit, and murder. To remove this veil meant that he was exposing himself to certain peril.

And for some reason, he was alright with that. Alucard had grown so weary under the heavy weight of the burden of these lies and guilt, plus it felt so liberating to finally tell someone the whole story.